Well, can't believe a lot of things that happen or not.  Most of the time my lizard eyes just observe the reflected light that tell my brain that I should do nothing more than just laugh.  So I do.  Let me pick a random absurdity:

A couple of days ago I was taking out a bag of recyclables.  Our landlord doesn't have a recycling bin for us tenants, so we appropriate the bins that are at the apartment complex next door.  I'd like to make it clear that we're talking about recyclables; not trash or furniture or items that are problematic refuse.  I'd also like to make profoundly clear that recycling bins are a FREE service and that the collection company makes money from the recycling materials that are left in the bins.  I do not need to address the importance of recycling.

As I'm walking away from the bins I'm approached by a mini van with a slight, dark haired lady at the wheel.  She's got a son in there too.  He looks about ten.  She introduces herself as the apartment manager, and then asks me if I used her recycling bins.  Befuddled, I answer an awkward yes.  Then the shit starts.  Without actually saying don't use her recycling bins she goes on a five minute diatribe about, well, I'm not sure, but ultimately I figured out that what she was really saying was I'm forbidden to recycle in her bins.  She made sure that I understood that the bins are hers.  I wanted to tell this lady to eat a dick, but the ten year old buffered my impulse.  I instead curbed my desire to let loose and told her that I wouldn't use her bins and to take care.

I am a liar.  I used HER recycling bins last night.

Eat a Dick.